Friday, March 31, 2006

People of Nineveh

People of Nineveh
31 March 2006

The rains came just over an hour early. Like the people of Nineveh, who had had ample warning, we were nevertheless startled. The morning sun had been so brilliant, the sky had seemed so clear; who would have thought the breezes would blow so briskly?

Kite flyers knew. The birds knew, though like the humans watching them, the well-fed flock of ducks ignored the warning signs, distracted and lured outside by the temptations of humankind.

A wet duck seems perfectly natural, but a duck being rained on is a different matter entirely. If you’ve ever been caught in a cloudburst while swimming, you know what I mean. Being in water is one thing; being pelted by water is another. There’s a distinct feeling of being physically assaulted, but there’s no one and nothing at which to strike back. All one can do is what smart ducks do: duck… dive deep… go fishing, like the proverbial sheriff when trouble comes to town.

We people think we’re so much smarter now than back in Noah’s day. The real estate ads boast of well-designed, interconnecting locks intended to control the height of the lagoons artfully sculpted into this man-dredged landfill. As the rains began to fall, a current became clearly visible, a well-intentioned race against the falling rains. After twenty-five days in a month of thirty-one, though, where will the excess go? After all, matter can neither be created nor destroyed, according to the wisdom of humans.

Many people here have boats and all manner of watercraft. Me, I left my body board at home, and I never did learn to surf. As Bill Cosby so drolly said, “How long can you tread water?”

Of course, this is nothing compared to last year’s ravages caused by Katrina, nor to this year’s Australian typhoons. I merely flatter myself that I can have any inkling whatsoever of what such a close-up view of God’s awesome might looks like. Sure, I’ve been in the path of a tsunami, but I was in a fairly fast car at the time, and I was able to get to the sheltered side of the island before the storm decimated the area I had been visiting. This stuff is more like real life: a slow but steady trickle that wears away at the ground and the spirit until the relentless erosion results in a caving in of the spirit and a slow but ultimately devastating mudslide of moral fiber.

It’s a good thing I don’t get depressed by inclement weather.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Rainy Day Feelings

Rainy Day Feelings
30 March 2006

Here comes that rainy day feelin’ again, so the song goes.

The voice on the other end of the line is disjointed, disoriented, frail. Words and meanings are out of sync, but there’s so little one can do across the miles.

Reach out and touch . . . say the commercial and song, but what do they really know about distances across nongeographical gaps?

Christopher Reeve once did a film with Jane Seymour called Somewhere in Time. It’s a silly, unbelievably improbable, unrealistic romance across generations. The time traveling is initiated by artifacts from the destination time period. The visualization if of a gauze-shrouded whirlpoolish suction, a definite contrast to the stark, cheesy pinwheel tumbling of the brief television series, Time Tunnel. Yet both images come to mind as I listen sadly to that disembodied voice. What is it about that slipping away feeling that sound can evoke? In Quantum Leap Scott Bakula played a scientist from the near future whose experiments caused him to get caught up in the timestream, always trying to get home. Unlike other series and movies, his character never did get to stay where he most longed to be. That’s how the voice at the other end of the phone sounds: like it’s lost in the slipstreams of time with no hope of ever finding its way home for long…

If one lives long enough, one inevitably ends up loose in that slipstream, like Kurt Vonnegut’s erstwhile protagonist. What is it about life and art, anyway?

Monday, March 27, 2006

Fine Time to Start Watching the News

Fine Time to Start Watching the News
27 March 2006

A busy weekend has led to renewed determination to pull this head out of its comforting ostrich sand and pay attention to mass media broadcast news once again. Perhaps that was not such a great idea…

Shiites and Americans disagree on whether or not the forty shot dead Sunday were at worship or in the streets. One likes to believe one’s own, but these are, after all, the same kinds of soldiers who shot down a former football player, let him be glorified as a hero and martyr to the cause, only to later admit to having taken him down themselves in “friendly” fire. Granted, endlessly repeated scenes of the bodies on Iraqi television cannot help but influence viewers as to the guilt of Americans and Iraqi government forces, but how does that differ from the U.S. media repeatedly showing footage of the damage done September 11, 2001? Even scenes of the rubble are enough to inflame many as suspects go to trial. When I was younger, I was taught that two wrongs do not make a right; when exactly did that axiom change?

Texas has begun a crackdown on public intoxication, going so far as to arrest people found drunk in bars and the bartenders who ostensibly served them. One has to wonder about the reporter’s agenda when reliably informed that hotel bars in particular are being targeted. This, of course, stands in interesting juxtaposition to the information that Texas is a promising state for real estate speculation, being business-friendly and all… Seriously, who goes to bars to stay sober, besides designated drivers, that is?

The U.S. federal legislature is eager to prove itself tough on illegal immigration in this election year. They are now in the process of raising the category of criminality for being or aiding an illegal immigrant from a misdemeanor to a felony. If this is a ploy to galvanize the conservative vote by inciting nonvoters to march in protest, it is a Machiavellian plot indeed, and successful to boot. GW is able to claim that he garnered more votes for himself in the last election than any other president in the history of this nation; he neglects to mention that he also caused more voters to vote against him than had ever voted against a candidate. Now the will of the people is being put to a similar test on this old issue being newly revisited. It will be interesting to see how pro-business forces deal with the loss of what some experts estimate to be 5% of the workforce, primarily menial laborers. Do they seriously anticipate the current change of entitlement addicts to warmly embrace the additional work opportunities that will spring up before them? Of course, there is always the generation of original Baby Boomers, now facing pension-free retirement. Perhaps it is they who are expected to fill the trenches to supplement their shrunken or nonexistent incomes in their “golden years.” After all, they are less proud, aren’t they? Hm…

Maybe I should stick to watching sports and weather. After all, Tiger tanked, all the number one seeds in the NCAA tournament choked, and I have lost track of my favorite teams in the NBA. Oh yes, and we’re currently chasing the all-time record for rain in March and on track to meet or surpass it.

Well, there’s always reading…

Friday, March 24, 2006

Morning Misadventure

Morning Misadventure
24 March 2006

Well, that was exciting… Two hours spent searching for, finding, and visiting (twice) the local Department of Vehicles (DMV). The people were pleasant in a spunky way, but the adventure was futile. This, of course, is an attempt to follow-up on Monday’s misadventure.

Round 1:
DMV? Down the street, over the ramp, turn on Eeeeeeeeee….
I beg your pardon?
Turn on Eeeeeeeeee…
Sorry, I have a hearing problem – surfer’s ear (without the waves).
Edes. E-d-e-s. Edes.
Oh! Okay. Thank you.

Round 2:
“START HERE.”
What do you want to do? Reregistration is by mail or Internet only, but we’re always willing to take money if you want to pay us now. Here’s your number. Take a seat and wait to be called.
Okay.
Twenty minutes later…
No paperwork? No service.
Okay, I can understand that. Just thought I’d try. Would have been nice to know before I was given a number.

Round 3:
Paperwork? OK. Credit? hahahahahaha… Do I look like the Internet to you? We only just started taking debit cards.

Yes, a blog does allow one to share one’s stupidity in a very public way, but my Tracksy logs assure me that only three people usually read this anyway, and they not so regularly, (though admittedly more regularly than I have been posting of late).

I used to be anal about paperwork, forms, and money. Perhaps I shouldn’t have taken that observation so much as a criticism as a compliment. Gotta find my way back to being me.

JJ on my desk. Time for BoyLove.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Big Brother Is Alive and . . . Well . . .

Big Brother Is Alive and . . . Well . . .
22 March 2006

A headline caught my eye this morning. Evidently the consumer version release of Microsoft’s long-awaited new operating system, due last year, has been pushed back yet again, this time from late this year to early next year, ostensibly to give consumers and support staff time to recover from the annual holiday spending season. That’s mighty considerate of Microsoft, isn’t it? Of course, beta testers already have access and corporate communities should see the software appearing on desktops everywhere sometime soon. Nothing like whetting one’s appetite…

Still, I’m not so sure there’s all that much for humble users like myself over which to salivate. The spec sheets currently available emphasize all the reasons IT personnel and corporate controllers will appreciate the new software. All I see are more ways for more people to track and control what I can and cannot see, can and cannot do. They’re fencing in the frontier, sure as shooting. Sure, merchandisers are already doing that to the Internet, but there are still many wild and woolly corners where one can find experiences out of the ordinary. More important, there is still plenty of room for saying and doing what one will. What this new system’s description seems to suggest, however, is that more fences are going up to corral such activities. Pretty soon there will be cyber-reservations for the socially unacceptable. No one will be above scrutiny and categorization.

Roger Zelazny wrote once of a man who existed off the grid, so to speak, or thought he did. Counterfeit i.d.’s, credit cards, and work histories were used whenever he surfaced, but mostly he survived on cash and coin. Such materials may be labeled “legal tender,” but good luck renting a car with nothing else. Don’t even think about buying any other big ticket items with nothing but cold, hard cash in hand. Businesses want a paper trail. More important, they want an electronic trail.

Here’s more to that tail…

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Rear Light Stress

Driving a car with the title in my name
Carrying a license that says the same
Address doesn't match cuz I moved last year
Flashing lights fill me with fear
Sticker's out of date, sorry to say
Insurance? someone said they'd pay
Now I've got me an official court date
On top of being just a teensy bit late
Where's Pollyanna when I need a good cheer
To put a positive spin on the lights up my rear
Life's been getting just a little bit grim
All my hoops just bouncing off the rim
But life's too short to worry and fret
There're still some good times to be had, I'll bet

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Pain

Pain
18 March 2006

Though the body’s wracked with pain
I struggle on
For theres’s so much to gain
If I see dawn
But, alas, the nights’ struggles bring no relief
Just more pain,
Exhaustion beyond belief.
And more rain
My well-wrought plan is all for naught
As my body resists doing what it ought
Forgetting all life’s lessons it’s been taught
As in this web of pain I remain caught

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

A Little Light Reading

A Little Light Reading
14 March 2006

One of the things I absolutely adore about this new abode is that there are a washer and dryer in the house. I think only a long-time patron of Laundromats can properly appreciate the luxurious nature of that nifty little feature, now that washing down by the river or in the backyard are mostly memories. (I have some vague ones from my single-digit days visiting my grandmothers’ houses.) Sometimes, however, a home system still isn’t enough. That’s when I toss the larger, heavier items into the car and head on down to the local Laundromat for a quickie. Today was one of those days.

As I was loitering about waiting between cycles, a magazine cover from last November caught my eye. It was one of those traditional magazines that Mom used to leave lying around the living room: Better Homes and Gardens. This issue, however, was boasting that the company had built “The Best House in America,” the sort of claim that seemed to challenge Sunset magazine’s annual feature. This was something I had to see. Below, then, are some of the impressions I drew:

A One-Acre Parcel

A one-acre parcel seems like so much these days. My parents were fortunate enough to be able to afford a quarter-acre, fee simple. Where I live, we measure in square feet. Yes, I know that there’s plenty of land in this country, available to those who are willing to work it, or who are willing to commit to a commute only possible because of fossil fuels that are fast becoming unaffordable. Therein lies the rub. For those of us determined to cling to coastal areas near urban centers, a one-acre parcel seems even more a fantasy than any one might encounter in literature, even “the old stuff.”

Ideal Kitchen, My Eye

How can an article describe a kitchen as small and ideal in the same breath? Economy of space is antithetical to an ideal kitchen, especially with reference to storage. Now, if we’re talking about economy of movement from workstation to workstation, I can see what is meant, but when one refers to efficient use of limited space as ideal, I have to quibble. My dream kitchen has some pretty elaborate storage solutions that include sorting, spinning, twirling, stacking, and drawers, all in the name of ease of access. Think Kurt Russell’s shoe storage in the Goldie Hawn vehicle, Overboard, and you’ll know what I mean. I’ve even seen some such systems in real life. They do not include invisible walls and nonexistent cabinetry, though the illusion is pretty good, I must confess. And while I like the idea of easy access to pots and pans in proximity to the stove, somehow the four pots in the House Beautiful photo don’t quite cut it, nor do the impeccably spacious open countertops I regularly see at Open House displays. Seriously, who doesn’t have small appliance clutter these days, especially with the current unreported epidemic of infomercial junkies on the loose in this country? If the stuff isn’t on the countertops, you know it has to be stashed elsewhere, whether in those nonexistent cabinets or out in that nominally two-car garage.

Pre-Installed Built-In Plumbing?

And then there’s the assertion in Phase III that the former breezeway turned crafts room will easily transform into a laundry room because of pre-installed plumbing. Seriously, if you wait until your teens are grown and gone before you build yourself a laundry room, you’ve raised yet another generation with some serious survival problems, let me tell you. What the heck have you been doing all these years? Yuck! Let me tell you, if there has been plumbing there since Day 1, then there has been a downstairs guest half-bath (toilet) as well.

Conclusion:

I think I’m outta step with mainstream America, but then, I think I already knew that…

Monday, March 13, 2006

Weather Concerns

Weather Concerns
13 March 2006

There was a pile-up of 28 cars this past weekend, caused in part by the whimsy of local microclimates, in part by the insatiable love of speed, in part by complacency. Who, after all, driving under crystal clear skies and brilliant sunshine, would expect to encounter ice and snow on the other side of a tunnel driven daily? After all, this is not anywhere near the environs of the mythic Shangri-La. And yet, so it was. My college friends from the Midwest would not have been surprised, but what do Californians know of the deceptive potential of Nature, as opposed to that of humankind?

That’s nothing, though, compared to what is being reported this morning: Wildfires across the Texas Panhandle, tornadoes across the Midwest, winter storms still raging above the hunkered down Punxsutawney Phil, all make California’s brief dance with snow flurries pale by comparison. Of course, inexperience and surprise can be as deadly as more familiar dangers. What’s more important, perhaps, is to avoid looking at these ravages of nature as some sort of competition. The question should not be which is worse or who suffers more, but rather, how do we as people respond? How do the individuals on the ground respond? How do onlookers respond? How do we as a society respond? Some of the areas in this morning’s news are the homebases of relief efforts for last year’s Hurricane Katrina victims. I still get regular weekly updates of what they are doing; now it’s their turn to need help. How will the rest of us respond?

I can’t help but think about the resources we are expending overseas, about the efforts spent domestically to distract us from those expenditures, about the needs that we have right here at home. All this I see juxtaposed against the exciting news that NASA’s Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter has successfully entered orbit around Mars. After all, one of the premises on which the science fiction to which I was addicted in my youth was based was that Earth was becoming overcrowded, at war, and ravaged by increasingly severe weather conditions. Of course, this is also all very Apocalyptic, but is it really so very different from any other century?

So my mind leaps and wanders this morning: weather to whether or not our government will respond adequately to what the future might hold for space travel, (which is also reported this morning to be on the verge of becoming cheaper soon). I think I’ll start this day optimistically, then.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

On Upbringing

On Upbringing
8 March 2006

Does upbringing affect tolerance on a kinetic level? As I was making my way down the freeway today, I saw a baby strapped into the backseat of a passing SUV. This is such a common sight that I usually take it for granted, but today Max was with me, and it set me thinking.

There was a time when people thought that 25 m.p.h. was really moving because it wasn’t an everyday experience for them. Traveling at speeds exceeding 60 – 80 m.p.h. still sets every nerve jangling in the senior citizens I’ve driven back home. There are, in fact, still people in this world today who don’t consider high speed travel an everyday occurrence. Without any such experience at as young an age as suburban children generally have, how does a body react? Does it ever accept as readily with such a sense of assumption as does a body that has experienced such motion since infancy?

Take the thought away from speed but retain the question of kinetic memory. Monkeys, (for lack of a more scientific term,) hang and swing freely in their natural habitat. People are generally more earthbound. Parents who have gymnastic aspirations for their children expose their offspring early to experiences that will accustom the little ones to the sensations of freefall. This is also true of those who wish their children to learn to love water rather than to fear it, some even going so far as to have “water babies” delivered in a swimming pool.

This brings me back to my initial thought. Do children who grow up riding around in speeding cars perforce have a different sensibility about motion and speeds? For that matter, do people who have spent their childhood strapped into seats with seatbelts and ridden around in back seats have a different world view than those who grew up unfettered bouncing around front seats and climbing over back seats in station wagons and trucks? How do such experiences affect our perceptions of safety, risk, and lawmaking?

Hm…

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Day Is Done

Day Is Done
7 March 2007

Day is done but I’ve not yet begun
I’ve sat and surfed my day away
If I had gumption I’d get up and run
Or at least walk part way
But it’s so much easier to sit and wait
No sense rushing when you know folks’ll be late
The trains, planes, and ferries are rarely on time
Except when I run out of rhyme
Rhyme scheme, rhythm, meter – what are they?
This isn’t great literature; it’s barely play
I probably need more vegetables in my diet
Either that or I’ve let my life become too quiet
Think I’ll go sit and think some more
If I wait long enough, will I discover my core?
Didn’t Verne say the world’s center is hollow?
That’s not a parallel I really want to follow
Time to get ready and warm up the car
Though, frankly, I’m not driving far
Is publishing regularly really more urgent
Than writing consistently with thought and control is important?

Monday, March 06, 2006

Sunday Evening Television

Sunday Evening Television
6 March 2006

Yahoo has a headline suggesting that the Nielson rating for Sunday evening’s 78th Annual Academy Awards show was less than stellar, but at this house, the AA is required viewing. Company is optional, chips and dips have become optional, as have alcoholic beverages, but viewing is required. Of course, that does make seeing the nominated works prior to the airing useful, but as often as not, the spectacle is its own reward.

Last night the Academy sought to take itself even more seriously than usual, all the major nominations involving films deemed to be of social, economic, and political significance for the first time since the socially revolutionary heyday of the post-WWII generation. So of course an M.C. capable of skewering such pretensions was requisite, though of two minds as ever, a comedian deemed “safe” was selected. He is white, male, and subtle – pretty much everything the majority of recent predecessors were not. People familiar with pundits seem to have appreciated him; we of the hoi poloi (sp?) less so. And so it goes… Off the cuff JS had some nice riffs, despite the cleanliness and near misses of his prepared material.

Like other steamrollers before it, Brokeback Mountain was honored for everything but its actual performers. As in previous years, the film of greatest epic scope, ensemble cast, and critical success took the plum prize. Peter Jackson seems to have superceded Steven Spielberg as the special effects extravaganza go-to guy, as far as awards go. As the former was absent and the latter present, perhaps a gauntlet will be perceived to have been thrown down and picked up. One can always hope that that bodes well for us as audience.

Despite an excellent opening acceptance speech riff by George Clooney, the majority of acceptance speeches were the usual hasty recitation of obligatory acknowledgements and thanks. The most notable exception was the unabashedly enthusiastic and euphoric cadre of hip hoppers, who may have garnered a few votes out of protest against the blandness of the opposition, in addition to a few votes delighted by the potential distress of the censors because of the song’s title. In truth, theirs was the most well-integrated song nominated, the music and lyrics woven inextricably with the plot. In truth, theirs was arguably the most honest acceptance, if not the most surprised.

The makers of Crash deserve that honor, though they also deserve the accolades heaped on them for the amazing narrative weaving they did. Don’t forget your scorecard for that one, though it’s well worth it.

I must say that there were a lot of very pretty movies this year. Cinematography was a tougher call than usual, or should have been. There are heartbreakingly breathtaking shots in The Constant Gardener, Pride and Prejudice, Brokeback Mountain, Capote, The Three Burials of (the guy whose name escapes me…), and even King Kong, in addition to Memoirs of a Geisha. Still, for my money the camera work on Good Night, and Good Luck was as integral a part of the narrative as the music in Hustle and Flow. It’s just too bad that so many folks are unwilling to consider the artistry of b/w these days.

It was only after the show had ended and cameras began covering the post-show parties that I realized that I’d forgotten the popcorn…

Spelling Bee

Spelling Bee
6 March 2006

First, an apology is in order for those few of you who have checked back here in recent days, only to find this poor blog treacherously neglected: Sorry.

Now –

Saturday afternoon is a wonderful time to drive across a bridge. There are no imminent starts or endings to create chaotic driving conditions. When the rain has been kind enough to relent, allowing the sun a bit of play time, the views are spectacular. Why, it’s even possible to see video game escapees coming before they are upon and past one! The clouds scud across the sky, portending further downpour, but at present they merely reflect the fine winds whipping delighted windsurfers about the briefly calm Bay. The experience feels like driving into a calendar image…

Destination: dinner en familia, a la Chinese cuisine. Perfectly chilled ginger chicken, comfortingly warm roast duck, something green like the newly trendy broccolini or classic swamp cabbage (sans shrimp paste), freshly made white rice, hot tea – what’s not to like?

Onward, then, to the Theater on the Square, where serendipity proffers street parking, a gift unheard of in the heart of the City. Evening is falling. There is a crisp coolness in the air that promises a very brisk walk at the end of the evening, but that will be for later. For now, everything seems to be going exceptionally well.

Casual chic is the order of the day, though perhaps a little more chic than casual, as I survey the working privileged at play. Banners decorate the foyer in appropriate elementary school style, in keeping with tonight’s performance. Eager recruiters are seeking volunteers for audience participation in the upcoming Spelling Bee, and I am eagerly volunteered by companions who wish for a shorter existence. I decline. My cravings for the spotlight do not include opportunities to embarrass myself willfully; at least, not at this particular moment…

The theater fills, the show begins, the lights go down… This trend violating the fourth wall grants permission to squirm, invites closer examination of wall decorations -- cool.

How could that woman volunteer and not know how to spell jihad, especially in today’s climate? I cringe. The other two volunteers are men, one of whom actually seems a cut above average. They finally bring out the Comfort Counselor, a burly fellow with the look of a bouncer, and challenge the final volunteer to spell the long version of LSD. He has the grace to err about three-quarters of the way in, and they ring him out before he can go any further.

The show goes on, full of song, dance, and quips clearly tailored to this San Franciscan audience. There’s a sense of satisfaction that the evening has been fun. Critiques about stereotyping vs. stock characterizations will come later, but for now, there is the freshness of a clearly crispy night, the pleasure of a nightcap, and a clean shot back across the Bay under a waxing moon.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

I Lack Originality, But I Like to Share

This should be a place to post my own thoughts, but some of the stuff I find in my Inbox I just can't keep to myself. Here, then, is more from my Net:

Encourage your kids to stay in school or they'll end up just like these parents!! These are REAL notes written by PARENTS in a Tennessee school
district... (Spellings have been left intact.)

1-- MY SON IS UNDER A DOCTOR'S CARE AND SHOULD NOT TAKE PE TODAY. PLEASE EXECUTE HIM.

2-- PLEASE EXKUCE LISA FOR BEING ABSENT SHE WAS SICK AND I HAD HER SHOT.

3-- DEAR SCHOOL: PLEASE ECSC's JOHN BEING ABSENT ON JAN. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 AND ALSO 33.

4-- PLEASE EXCUSE GLORIA FROM JIM TODAY. SHE IS ADMINISTRATING.

5-- PLEASE EXCUSE ROLAND FROM P.E. FOR A FEW DAYS. YESTERDAY HE FELL OUT OF A TREE AND MISPLACED HIS HIP.

6-- JOHN HAS BEEN ABSENT BECAUSE HE HAD TWO TEETH TAKEN OUT OF HIS FACE.

7-- CARLOS WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE WAS PLAYING FOOTBALL. HE WAS HURT IN THE GROWING PART.

8-- MEGAN COULD NOT COME TO SCHOOL TODAY BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN BOTHERED BY VERY CLOSE VEINS.

9-- CHRIS WILL NOT BE IN SCHOOL CUS HE HAS AN ACRE IN HIS SIDE.

10-- PLEASE EXCUSE RAY FRIDAY FROM SCHOOL. HE HAS VERY LOOSE VOWELS.

11-- PLEASE EXCUSE PEDRO FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD (DIAHRE, DYREA, DIREATHE), THE SH**S. NOTE: [WORDS IN ( )'s WERE CROSSED OUT].

12-- PLEASE EXCUSE TOMMY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD DIARRHEA, AND HIS BOOTS LEAK.

13-- IRVING WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE MISSED HIS BUST.

14-- PLEASE EXCUSE JIMMY FOR BEING. IT WAS HIS FATHER'S FAULT. {You know, this could be legit!}

15-- I KEPT BILLIE HOME BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIZE SHE WEAR.

16-- PLEASE EXCUSE JENNIFER FOR MISSING SCHOOL YESTERDAY. WE FORGOT TO GET THE SUNDAY PAPER OFF THE PORCH, AND WHEN WE FOUND IT MONDAY WE THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY.

17-- SALLY WON'T BE IN SCHOOL A WEEK FROM FRIDAY. WE HAVE TO ATTEND HER FUNERAL.

18-- MY DAUGHTER WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE SHE WAS TIRED. SHE SPENT A WEEKEND WITH THE MARINES.

19-- PLEASE EXCUSE JASON FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD A COLD AND COULD NOT BREED WELL.

20-- PLEASE EXCUSE MARY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. SHE WAS IN BED WITH GRAMPS.

21-- GLORIA WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY AS SHE WAS HAVING A GANGOVER.

22-- PLEASE EXCUSE BRENDA. SHE HAS BEEN SICK AND UNDER THE DOCTOR.

23-- MARYANN WAS ABSENT DECEMBER 11-16, BECAUSE SHE HAD A FEVER, SORE THROAT, HEADACHE AND UPSET STOMACH. HER SISTER WAS ALSO SICK, FEVER AN SORE THROAT, HER BROTHER HAD A LOW GRADE FEVER AND ACHED ALL OVER. I WASN'T THE BEST EITHER, SORE THROAT AND FEVER. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING GOING AROUND, HER FATHER EVEN GOT HOT LAST NIGHT.

Amazing Ode to Love

This world, as I see it.

Professor Batty has an amazingly creative circle of friends. One of them posted this Whitmanesque poem on the last day of February. It's called, "Being in Love."