Lax

Middle school or junior high, eighth graders remain a consistent inconsistency. As a veteran of the middle school trenches, I guess I should count myself fortunate that no such prank ever occurred in any of my classes, not that there were not ample opportunities.

One of the units for the speech portion of class is traditionally the demonstrative speech. Over the years cooking became a popular way to get through this particular unit, especially for those who felt that they had not yet had enough life experience to tell anyone how to do anything... at least, nothing adult-approved. It got parents involved, usually mothers, and eventually necessitated planning presentations according to dishes being offered. Naturally enough, the boys produced the most enthusiastic and entertaining presentations, though not always intentionally.

As I reflect on the whole situation, I guess it would have been a little harder to slip something into a dish one was preparing right in front of prospective consumers. On the other hand, since everyone took to preparing ample quantities ahead of time, I suppose it wouldn't have been too hard to slip something in, provided one's mother could be circumvented. Those Long Island teens must not have been proffering their doughnuts in the wake of a graded project, or perhaps they simply did not care.

I remember the late sixties, when pranksters began lacing candies and fruit with drugs, razor blades, broken glass, and other similarly harmful things not generally anticipated in consumable goods. It was a tough time to be a kid, perhaps even tougher for parents unfamiliar with the kind of mentality that could conceive of such acts, then execute them. Laxatives seem harmless enough, merely humiliating, but they might also be heralding the return of an overtly socially barbaric time. That's one form of nostalgia in which I have no desire to indulge. Is there any chance we might spiral past any such repeat, rather than circling back through it? Let us ignore the unpopular war, the neglected veterans, the rising fuel costs, the growing gap between the privileged and the deprived. One can always hope...